What the actual fuck, 2020???
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What the actual fuck, 2020???

I’m going to swear a lot. Sorry guys, this is a weird time to be alive. In the past 24 hours I have literally felt ALL the emotions. I have slept about 4 hours and woken up crying. I simply can’t seem to wrap my head around the whole situation. If you feel like you are living in an apocalypse movie, then join the freakin club. Social media has been a real bummer, if I’m honest. Reading the news is important but it bums the hell out of me and instantly puts me in a terrible mood, especially when I think about what the future might hold. So far my parents have lost a fuckload of their pension and I am constantly worried about how I am going to take care of them one day. My business is non existent. The only bright side is that I work entirely by myself, so luckily I am the only employee to lose their entire income.

My mom was going to have her 60th birthday this weekend and she has been looking forward to it for so long. It absolutely breaks my heart to see her so sad. The biggest heartbreak was when we found out we could no longer fly up to Pretoria to see them. I know it was our choice to move to Cape Town, away from our entire family, but this is the first time that I’ve had some regrets. I really miss them now. Everything seems bleak and I would love nothing more right now then to be with them all. Being an only child kind of sucks at the moment.

My husband has been my rock. I have the tendency to get the blues, but he always knows exactly  how to calm me down. Forever thankful to have him in my life. Today I made a huge effort to try and get back into a normalish routine. We bought the last of the food today, and I deliberately didn’t buy anything that might tempt me. Going to try and focus on my diet and Zumba. I know I can’t change the current situation, but food and exercise; that I can control.

For the next few weeks I will be doing the following everyday

  • Write a blog post.
  • List 3 things I am grateful for.
  • Post a photo of my exercise of the day.
  • Photo document all meals.
  • Do a craft (I know, I am a 9 year old)

Praying for us all. Praying all the time.

Love, Cindy


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